Monday, October 27, 2008

Holes


When you give Anne an adjustable ball latch she'll want to install it.

Well, no one actually gave Anne an adjustable ball latch, she went out and bought two for the french doors in the bathroom so the doors will stay closed, but that little fact doesn't have the same literary ring, does it?

If she wants to install it, she'll have to take out the old one first.

When she takes out the old one she'll realize the new one is a bigger size and won't fit in the old hole.

When she needs to drill a larger hole she'll need a 13/16" drill bit.

13/16"? Are you kidding? 7/8" maybe, but who's got a 13/16" bit?

When she can't find her large diameter drill bits she'll ask her neighbor if he has that size. (Who does because he has a huge workshop in his garage.)

When she starts to drill the new hole she'll forget the drill was set to remove the old screws and wonder why the hole isn't getting any deeper.

When she changes the direction of the drill she'll drill too deep in the hollow door and drill through the top.

When she drills through the top of the door she'll make a mental note not to drop anything in the hole because it'll be lost forever.

When she tries the new catch in the new hole she'll realize she'll need to recess the strike plate so the door will close.

When she realizes she needs to recess the strike plate so the door will close she'll know she needs a chisel to increase the cutout from the old catch.

When she searches for a chisel, even though she doesn't think she has one, she finds her large diameter drill bits (1/2" and 1" so they wouldn't have helped at all).

When she goes to the hardware store to buy a chisel she will also buy two 4-drawer basket sets to hold her newly sorted and folded quilting fabric.



When she gets the two large boxes into the back of the compact car she'll make her son sit in the front seat and hold the cake which she'll need to drop off at church for the Halloween party.

When her son holds the cake he'll pokes holes in it and will get sticky.

When her son pokes holes in the cake Anne will stop at the grocery store on the way to the church to buy a can of frosting to cover the holes and will dig past the chisel in her purse to find money to pay for the frosting.

When she covers the holes in the cake she will get sticky.

When the holes are covered she will take her sticky self and her sticky son home in her sticky car.

When she gets home she will wash her hands and her son will unload the drawer kit boxes.

When the boxes are unloaded she will help her son put together the first unit together.

When the first unit is together she will set it in place and will fill it with fabric, blues and purples on the bottom, greens and yellows in the middle and pinks, oranges and reds above that.

When the drawers are full, she will sit down to work on the wedding quilt.

After she quilts for a while she will remember she should check her phone for messages.

When she reaches in her purse for her phone, she will see the chisel and will take it up to the bathroom to work on the door.

When she tries to see where to chisel she won't be able to so she'll go in search of reading glasses.

When she finds reading glasses next to her sudoku puzzle she'll try to place a couple numbers and gets stuck.

not really, but the diversion sounded good here

Now that she could see what she was doing, she'll remember she doesn't actually know how to chisel out a recessed area on a door.

But that won't stop her, she'll get it to work well enough to get the latch in and the door closed.

And after that, she will get the second drawer kit put together and the center part of her quilt done and she will sleep very well.

3 comments:

iamnot said...

One thing leads to another and it all just gets by.
Congrats on finishing.

just me said...

this is why I don't attempt these kinds of tasks!

AM Kingsfield said...

Beware of muffin-seeking moose and hungry mice!